ME

erm,actually now adays i dont feel like going school.i feel like studying now,but,i just dont get it why i still dont feel like entering the school.lesson time is quite fun.but,i keep thinking of alot things.
what to do next?
why am i so sad?
how will will it last?....
blahblahblah,all those stupid question came out from me.i am a very easy jealous guy.sometime i dont know what i jealous about,started to attitude alot.but,i never say out i jealous of something,i just kept in my heart.
i put everyone at my heart,but,if one didnt.i really will felt sad.though alot of things happen,i sad alot of times.for me is normal already being treated like that.either boy or girl,i treat him or her very good,but,he or her doesn't show it back,erm....thats is really sad bah.
i kept asking myself,what did i done wrong to deserve everything that happen to me.
it is hard to grab someone heart.very very hard....
okays,some friend can be NO friend already,then start complain to me this and that,then treat me very good,starting calling me everyday,tell me about the story,blahblahblahWAAA~~~ then i stupid stupid treat him or her very good.cheer this cheer that,ask that person dont think too much,i will accompany him or her.
THEN!time past,that person found another friend,which can be at school,which can be outsider.either way,then after all the months i been cheering that person up can all the way dont care me.then still can dao me sometime wor~ then can forget got me this kind of friend derh.got new friend run away from old friend.
oh no oh no~ i didnt blame him or her,i blame myself for being so STUPID.its really hurt to see that your friend had been using you,or whatever shit!
sometime,i really hate myself for being so STUPID and so SOFT HEARTED!i asked him or her sometime,got treat me as a friend? that person will say,YES.WHY?
to all the reader here,if u happen to meet those problem and they answer like this,u could ask tell FUCK OFF! i believe one time and other,why is that so? cause i treat him or her as brother or sister or what.
then always ask him or her out,the replied will be CMI,i morning cannot make it,afternoon blahblah.now aday very busy... then u say nevermind,next time. that person relied will always answer it with okay,sorry~
the next day,u saw him or her,meeting with another friends.that is fine.
the day after the next day,he or she might be with or not is fine too.
after 1week passes,u saw it again and again. YOU ARE STUPID!
i have bear it again and again.
okay,another thing.after you treat that person until very very good,he or she had found another friends.that is fine but WAIT!he or she didnt seldom reply your message anymore.if reply,the replied would be "oh~ " "haha" "icic" "yeah"
the most irrating part is that person repiled with a "NO" or "YES" only.then that person replied the "friend" alot and could crap with the " friend",while your replied only those.
Nah,its not one person i talking about.ITS TWO THREE OF THEM.
if u know u are the ONE of them,please stop treating me like this.ITS SUCK!~

okays,after having a friend problem,another problem came.you search your wallet or found out that your bank had NO MONEY. then your friend ask you out,hey!want go cycling? hey!want go kbox? hey!want see wondergirls concert? hey!want go eat sushi together?
you already very stress.they start to ask question like this.you cannot blame them,the worst thing of all is u cannot blame ANYONE.then you liike a person,you need everything,flower all that to make her touch.then no money,tell that girl BYEBYE~ okok,some don't need all those to be touch but asking the girl out,also need money. treat her eat all those. sometime,u save money until alot of days,finally got money! you ask that girl out,she said BU FAN BIAN or whatever shit.then you started to be really angry and spend it all on yourself! when awake from your crazyness,you find that you have no more money left. so,u have to wait for another week so that you dare to called her out.
SILLY ISNT IT?

okok!friend problem,money problem.still got one problem.
friend lend money,no money return,i could understand. but,worst thing,friend lend money,got money never return is very fuck. or some even more clever,got money,still lend money and dont want return back.
some even more clever,to knew that got money need return,he or she go spend until no money left,and he or she will said to me.SORRY!i had no money left to return u.
okays,this is only you could blame for being so stupid.
some ask you bet with him,you bet.you WIN! but,he didnt pay u back money.
what if ownself lose?stupid stupid pay money without knowing he wont pay after losing.

everything happen to me.myself yeah~ i am very experience.after this happen to me 4years~ slowly slowly,i don't 100percent believe anyone anymore. this year i have all those problem! you know how painful it is?
being used,betray and all.
being used,but,cant totally said being used.cant totally blame that guy. i still got contact with him or her,that person slowly treat me well again.
as for the person i mention at indirect,i didnt trust them again.
you dont understand it.

alright,problem solve!

people all around me asking me question you really fall in love with sohee?
the answer is simple.YES,as a idol.NO falling in love.
their replied would be,you crazy of her,keep sohee sohee.hahahas!
alright,i really understand what you all thinking.but,i think i am more un normal then u all bah.what i like,i always will like.
i will keep support the same again and again.
i could understand whats the meaning of love and idol love.
dont worried,many people worried about it.and stared to ask me maybe i dont know that i love her? those thing i know. if i really does,what about heechul,leetuek and g-dragon? am i a gay?????
i could understand why you all would think such thing,whenever i saw her on show i could get really excited.and told you all about that.more on sohee then other idol.
because she really my number 1 idol. understand? i just want to know her,meet her thats all.not anything else.
becuase i friendly i guess:)
everything was explained to u all.
hope i wont have this misunderstooding anymore.

i now only love her.not sohee.but,i guess i need to live on.find a better things to do rather than romance.
see you:)